I Need You To Understand

Pairing: Mob!Steve x reader

Summary: You find out Steve is the leader of a mafia gang. 

Word count: 2041

Warnings: angst/fluff ,mentions of torture 

Authors Note: sorry I havent posted in a while. I’ve been busy with school and some health issues, but not covid. i really hope you enjoy this one. let me know if I should make part 2 because im kind thinking about it. im proud of this one and please send me feedback <3

part 2!

(gif not mine, credit to owner) 

You and Steve have been dating for almost a year now. It was his birthday coming up soon so you thought it would be a good idea to go over to his house and surprise him with an early birthday present. You had a key to his house, he gave it to you for your 6 month anniversary, so you just walked in. You saw his maid cleaning in the kitchen. You asked him if she might know where Steve is and she told you he was in the basement. You thought him being in the basement was a bit weird since he never went down there, but you didn’t question it much.

You walk down the stairs and see two large men backsides facing you and Steve standing behind a man who was tied to a chair with a large knife held against his throat. The man has his white button work shirt unbuttoned with cuts covering his chest and face, and blood dripping down his whole body.

“Oh my god,” You covered your mouth with your hand and took a step back from the scene. You couldn’t believe what you were seeing right now.

Steve looked up from the man when he heard you speak and saw you on the verge of tears with a horror look on your face. You stared at the scene for about 10 seconds, debating on what the right move might be before you turned around and started running up the stairs. Trying to run away from Steve before he can do anything to you.

“Fuck” Steve said while dropping the knife on the floor and running after you. He turned quickly to the two large men while running, “Watch him”.

Steve ran up the stairs and ran after you. Before you could reach the front door, he wrapped his arms around your waist and caught you in a tight hold, preventing you from running away from him. You tried ripping his arms off of you but he was too strong. You thought you were next.

“Let me go. Please” You tried pleading to him. Not wanting your life to end.

“Calm down. I’ll let you go when you calm down.”

“No, get off of me. P-please”

“Babe, I need you to calm down.”

“Please don’t hurt me. Please.”

He can hear the fear in your voice and that just broke his heart. He never thought he would be the one to make you scared.

“I’m not gonna hurt you. I would never, but I need you to calm down for me.”

You finally started struggling, knowing you were losing the fight. You were breathing hard and had tears dripping down your face. Steve relaxed his arms around your body and turned you around to face him. He had both his hands on your upper arms, trying to make you stay still. He looked at your terrified face. He can see the tears running down on your cheeks and you looking everywhere else but at his face.

“Ok, I’m gonna take you to my office upstairs and we are gonna talk.” He put his hand on your cheek and rubbed away the tears. “Ok?”

You nodded while finally looking at him but only for a split second, too scared to look at him. He finally let you go and gently pushed you in front of him with only one arm around your waist. You walked to his office with Steve trailing behind you. Once you guys reached his office, he reached over you and turned the door handle. Once the door was open, you walked inside. You were still scared of him and what he might do, so you just did what he wanted. He lightly pushed you inside and closed the door behind you guys, while locking it.

Steve guided you to sit in the large chair in front of his desk. You sat down with your hands in your lap and looking at the ground. He moved to sit on the front of his desk, facing you. He was thinking of the right thing to say, not wanting to make things worse.

“I know you’re scared right now, but I need you to listen to me and let me explain.” He said with a gentle voice.

You looked up at him with teary eyes and fear rushing through your veins. You didn’t know what to think right now. Was everything he told you a lie? Was he using you for something? Were you next? You still nodded your head at his statement and looked back at the ground.

“Ok, good.” He stepped forward, away from his desk, and moved closer to you. He kneeled down in front of you and put his large hands onto your hands that were still played on your lap. You flinched a little at the sudden touch from him. He looked at you trying to understand what you are thinking and how you are feeling.

“I know you are scared but I need you to listen to me. I am not going to hurt you, I would never dream of hurting you. I just want to explain to you what you just saw.” He was caressing your knuckle with his thumbs. “I have not been 100% honest with you. I lied to you about what my job is and how I make my money.”

He hesitated for a second to explain to you. He was scared of your reaction.

“I told you I was a business owner, which was true, but not the type of business you would usually think of. I am the owner of the mafia, more like the leader.” He looked at your face for a reaction but all he got was a serious face with more tears dripping down your face. You were scared out of your mind.

“I understand you’re afraid and confused right now. I will answer any questions you have to make you understand. No more lies. I don’t want you to be scared of me right now. You mean the world to me and you are the person I love most in this fucked up world. I can’t lose you now.”

You had a million questions but you honestly were scared to ask. Still, you had to know the answers. You hesitated for a second, still trying to process everything. You didn’t know what question to ask first. You needed to know one thing. 

“W-why?” You spoke with hesitation and a hint of fear in your voice. 

“Why what?” 

“Why were you about to kill that man?”

“He betrayed me.” He was scared to tell you the truth but he knew he had to. “He began working for me a couple of months ago. He worked closely with me and I trusted him only to find out that he was working with my biggest enemy and he was spying on me. He was reporting back to his boss on everything I was doing”

“So that’s your reason for killing him.” You had slight anger in your voice. “You were about to take a human life just because he betrayed you.”

“I know it sounds bad but you don’t understand. This isn’t just some regular business where I can just fire him. If he lives after I found out about his betrayal then that makes me look weak and pathetic to other mafia gangs.” He was trying to defend himself. Make you believe he was doing the right thing. “If they see that, then that allows them to make a move on me and take over my business. That allows them to take over and kill me. Every day in the mafia is a life or death situation and I always choose the situation that will keep me alive.”

“But still, killing someone isn’t something to take lightly. How do you think I feel? I’m scared out of my mind right now.”

“I know you are. Trust me, I felt the same way you did when my father told me everything.”

“Your father? I thought he died when you were young.”

“He did. He was going on a risky mission to bring down a very bad and dangerous gang, who liked to hurt people for fun and do whatever they wanted. So, before he left he told me everything that was happening. I knew he worked for a dangerous business but I didn’t understand since I was so young. That night he told me everything and if anything ever happened to him that I had to help my mom with the business and take over once I was old enough, and lead just like he did.”

“That’s how you got into the mafia?”

“Yea. My family has been a part of it since the beginning of it.”

“Did your dad succeed in the mission?”

“Yea, he did. He killed the leader of the gang and took over. He made it a part of ours and made it great. But he died a couple of years later and missed the true success of it. I know you must think that we do bad things as a gang, but that’s the complete opposite. We help people, we give them jobs and turn their lives over. We help the people in need.”

You nodded at his response. You didn’t know what to say. You were still speechless. You understand a little more but you were still scared. 

You and Steve haven’t spoken for a couple of minutes, just in silence.

 “Can you please say something? I need to know what you are thinking.” Steve begged to you, needing to hear you speak. 

“I am thinking about how to handle this situation. I am thinking of how we go on after all of this.”

Steve stood up from kneeling on the floor and moved to sit in the chair next to you. 

“I still love you and I still wanna be with you. I understand if you don’t want to be with me anymore but if you do I need to know.”

“I don’t know if I still wanna be with you. I still love you and I know I will always love you but I just don’t know how to feel about us. I mean, you are the leader of a mafia gang. Like this stuff only happens in movies.”

“I know.” He replied with a chuckle.

“I just-I don’t know” You paused for a second. Too scared to tell him the truth, scared he might be angry and do something he might regret.. “I think we need some time apart. I need some time to think and process everything that has just happened.” 

“Of course. I completely understand.” He reached over the armrest and put his hand over yours and gave it a little squeeze. “Take all the time you need. I’ll be here waiting for you.”

As he said that, you looked over at him and saw a little comforting smile form on his lips. It gave you a little hope that everything was going to be okay between you guys.

You slowly sat up from the chair and turned to face Steve, who was still in the chair next to yours. You put your hand over his cheek. Looking into his beautiful blue eyes, taking them in. Hopefully not for the last time.

With that, you realized his face and walked to the door behind his sitting self. As you put your hand on the door handle, you stopped for a second.

You turned to him, “I know this changes things between us, but this doesn’t change the fact that I love you. Just wanted to let you know that.”

He turned around to face you, still sitting. He looked at you with love in his eyes.

“I know.”

You were happy with his response and gave him a little smile. You turned back to face the office door and turned to open the door. You went through the door and left the house. You left him behind, thinking if he will ever see you again. Hoping that you will eventually come back to him. No matter how long it takes, he will wait for his whole life for you.

——

@perfectkittykitten 

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